


What she was thinking

by Teary_smiles



Series: What They're Really Thinking OUaT [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV), ouat, swan queen - Fandom
Genre: Mother-Son Relationship, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-16
Updated: 2015-09-16
Packaged: 2018-04-21 03:10:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4812746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teary_smiles/pseuds/Teary_smiles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The part of the pilot episode when Henry runs away to his castle, and Emma goes to consolidate him. We know what she says, but now we also know what she's really thinking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What she was thinking

~~Emma~~  
She was sitting with Henry on his ‘castle’, which was really just a wooden platform on a playground with one red slide. She held out Henry’s story book to him  
“You left this in my car”. He said nothing. She really wanted to be able to soothe his boy. After all, she had put him up for adoption, and she of all people knew how that felt. And even though she could not say it out loud, she was his mother, and even though she didn’t know him, and hadn’t spent more than three hours with him, she still felt that meant something, and she owed it to him.  
“It still hasn’t moved, huh”. She was referring to the tide, as that was what Henry seemed to have been staring at for all this time now. It seemed to work as an icebreaker  
“I was hoping that when I brought back, things would change here. That the final battle would begin”. This whole fairytale thing was getting a little redundant for her  
“I’m not fighting any battles, kid”. She still called him kid. If she called him Henry, it would be too real. It would mean she gave up a real person, with a real name, and she wasn’t ready for this to be real  
“Yes you are. You’re here because its your destiny. You’re here because you’re going to bring back the happy endings.” he insisted. Emma had to admire his persistence, but it was beginning to get on her nerves. He was stubborn, just like her and Henry’s father.  
“Can you cut it with the book crap”. She cursed herself for swearing. She was not used to being around little kids.  
“You don’t have to be hostile. I know you like me, I can tell. You're just pushing me away because I make you feel guilty” Henry said. ‘Damn this kid’ she thought to herself. She wasn’t ready for this.  
“Its okay,” he continued, “I know why you gave me away. You wanted to give me my best chance.”. Her chin dropped. This hurt, and she held back tears and tried not to cry. This kid was just like her, but even he had a better grasp on things than she did. Emma had not even come to terms with having been given up herself, and somehow this kid was so calm about everything. A wave of emotions hit her. Guilt. Pain. Resentment. Suffering. Guilt again… She was dealing with her own memories, and the sudden realisation that she had always pushed away. That she might have done the same thing to her own child. After a few seconds she gathered herself, and went back to pushing her feelings and memories away.  
“How do you know that?” She asked, almost like she was having a deep conversation with an adult  
“Its the same reason snow white gave you away.” This reminded her that she was talking with a child. A child she though was naive and ridiculous. But she was overflowing with emotion, pain, and getting annoyed at this fairytale crap.  
“Listen to me kid, I am not in any book. Im a real person, and I’m no saviour. You were right about one thing though.” She took a deep breath, and kept talking before she shut herself off again  
“I wanted to give you your best chance, but It’s not with me.” She wanted nothing more than to live in the big house with the sexy, rude mayor, and live a normal life, with a normal family. She wanted to be married and raise her son with her son’s other mom, who just so happened to be the most attractive person who Emma had ever met. But madam mayor would never want her. Bad things always happened to people around her. She could not stay in one place. And she felt like she always ruined everything. She would not ruin this kid too. She got up, and started walking.  
“Come on, lets go.”  
“No. Please don’t take me back there” Henry pleaded, running after her. “Just stay with me for one week. One week that’s all I ask. Then you’ll see I’m not crazy”. Emma wanted nothing more, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t give in, and had to do what was best for him. She wasn’t even ready to be a mother. She couldn’t take care of herself, how could she take care of a kid.  
“I have to get you back to your mom” she replied.  
“You don’t know what its like with her. My life sucks.”. Emma actually like the thought of living with madame mayor. She was super hot for one, but she also seemed to be a good mother. She took good care of Henry, even if she was strict. Of course a mayor is a fit mother, she thought to herself. At least he had a mother  
“Oh you wanna know what sucking is. Being left abandoned on the side of a freeway. My parents didn't even bother to drop me off at a hospital. I ended up in the foster system and I had a family until I was three, but then they had their own kids so they sent me back.” She was almost crying and couldn’t handle the emotion. Venting sure felt nice, but she looked down and reminded herself that it was a kind standing in front of her. She couldn't vent herself out to this little child. She took a deep breath, put her hair out of her face, composed herself and continued. “Look,” she knelt down to the boy, “Your mom is trying her best. I know its hard, and I know sometimes you think she doesn't love you, but at least she wants you.”  
“Your parents didn't leave you on the side of the freeway.” Henry protested, “thats just where you came through”. Emma was trying to have an honest conversation with this boy, orphan to orphan, and he was just making a joke out of this. She didn’t understand. “The wardrobe,” Henry continued “when you went through the wardrobe you appeared in the street. Your parents were trying to save you from the curse”. Emma sighed. This was just a little boy. Sweet and innocent, and full of creativity and dreams.  
“Sure they were” she said, rather sarcastically, with a laugh. “C’mon Henry”, and they walked to her car together


End file.
